Our Plan (or lack thereof)

To be fair, there isn’t much planning that can be done years out. You can’t book airline tickets or rent a place.  You can’t quit your job or pack your bags.  In the beginning, it’s just a lot of waiting.  And saving. Lots of saving. **I have to take a little pause here. I will talk more about the saving part in a later post, but I just have to say, if there is anything, anything at all that you take away from my tales of our little adventure, let it be this: Start saving! Open a separate travel savings account and every week make a little automatic deposit.  You will be shocked at how quickly $25 a week turns into a luxurious week away.  Okay, rant over. For now. 

Back to our lack of a plan. It’s not exactly like we didn’t try to plan.  We researched locations.  We narrowed it down to a few towns we thought we could call home.  In 2020, we actually booked our flights to France to research the region.  We had plans to visit all of the potential places to live, hoping to settle on one. We thought this trip would be the beginning of our planning process and after we would be able to let everyone in on our little secret.   BUT – and I’m guessing you already know where this is going, 20-freaking-20 struck and when a deadly, worldwide pandemic shut down borders, we were left holding a bag full of dreams and zero actual plans. 

I know I don’t need to tell y’all this, but 2020 sucked.  2020 was hard.  Full of fears and doubts and struggles and way too many days at home with no escape. I have to be honest with you, as the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and the borders stayed closed and everything just seemed hopeless, France felt a world away and I really gave up on the possibility of a move. It just didn’t feel like the time for big dreams. 

Needless to say, I wasn’t doing any planning.  We responded to the horror that was 2020 (and really, the beginning of 2021 too, but don’t we just consider it all just one long ass year??) by getting busy.  Now, for those who don’t know us, Paul and I tend to keep things real busy.  Before we left, we both had full-time 40+ hour a week regular jobs and on the side we ran multiple Airbnbs, took on clients for managing remodels and new-builds, we bought a 120+ year old house that was left for dead and remodeled and flipped it, all while raising one amazing, challenging, perfect 5 year old. To say our hands were full is an understatement.  We just didn’t have the time, space, or energy. 

It was sometime around the new year when I asked Paul, “is France really still on the table??” I honestly was expecting a no. It wasn’t until he told me that yes, we for sure still wanted to do this, that I even started considering it again.  I began to pay attention to the news and started praying again that borders would open. 

I think I told you earlier that we pretty much left with our hair on fire.  The second it was announced that the borders would open in July, we listed our house for lease, moved out, applied for and got our visas, and left on the earliest flight we could find. Still never taking time to actually plan.  

Before we left we have vaguely formed the notion that after landing we would stay with our friend Ruchir (see earlier post) and then find a place to rent in Bordeaux. We picked Bordeaux because it was big enough to have a large expat community, would have tons of activities and groups for Nora to join, and was just a quick fifty minute train ride from our safe haven with Ruchir. 

That was our plan. What do they say about plans?  Something about God laughing??  Of course what seemed so easy before we left has proven much more difficult now that we are here.  Apparently there is a huge influx of people moving to Bordeaux, which had led to a giant housing shortage. As one realtor (immobilari) told me, for every apartment that goes up, 20 applications come in. And, as she went on to explain, they prefer to rent to other French people.  It’s been very tough to find an apartment to meet our needs that is available. By tough I mean impossible. 

But, we have made the most of it.  We spent the majority of a month living at Ruchir’s. Which of course was wonderful and safe and Nora absolutely fell in love with his little daughter and watching them play everyday was a true joy.  And now we’ve spent the second month here traveling all over southwest France and now in Spain.  

Even as I write this, I’m not sure how I feel about our lack of planning.  On one hand, I am bummed we didn’t find our own little home away from home to settle into. Part of me really wants a place where we can unpack and get into a groove. I would like to make some friends somewhere and I desperately want Nora to make some friends and find some stability. But, on the other hand, I LOVE traveling around. I love spending a week or two or a few days in new places. Jumping around to one town and then another and then another however the wind takes us fills my heart.  I love feeling like we are making the most of each day by getting out and doing and seeing.  But, I also get sad each time we leave a place. And I won’t lie, it’s a little lonely always being someone who is just passing through.

I’m not exactly sure what the future holds.  I know we will be traveling around a little longer, but I do think we will eventually find somewhere to settle. Or at least unpack.  Where that will be, I honestly have no clue.  The most important thing is that our family seems to be thriving right now.  Everyone is happy and we are together and that’s the most important thing. For now, I’m trying to do a little of that letting go that Elsa sings so foundry of.  Letting go of expectations. Letting go of the need to control, letting go of the need to plan.  

We will see where life takes us….